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GRIEF TRANSFORMED
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To spare oneself from grief at all cost
    
 
Below are excerpts from this chapter.
 For a pdf of the entire chapter, go here.
    Grief is an inescapable aspect of our human experience. Part of the great mystery of life, it is a portal to greater unknowns. It is not a mystery to be mastered, but a doorway to be opened and entered.

    The fear of pain can overwhelm us, even for fleeting but seemingly unending moments, preventing us from crossing grief’s threshold. No one will be exempt from the grief experience during an earthly life—nobody can avoid it. The feelings of loneliness and abandonment will never be adequately described, as those left behind wonder how and even if they will survive the desolation and isolation that has descended upon them. Because grief is difficult for us to express in this modern age, the natural process of this exquisitely human experience may never be allowed to fully unfold into its glorious intent.    

    The event of a loved one's death launches cycles of waves that swell and recede, ebb and flow. There is something new here that now uses our life for its own breathing. We seem to float helplessly on a depthless ocean, struggling to keep from sinking. The cycles’ momentum may slow down over an indeterminate period of time, causing us to sleep too deeply, or be kept awake by haunting memories. The slowing down feels depressing to the body, and the ego-mind uses this feeling to justify uninvited dark and dismal thoughts. These thoughts collapse into remorse and guilt, holding us fast like an anchor caught in reefs of despair. The cycles grow increasingly heavier and slower, encrusted with crystallized memories. We become trapped in a frozen hell of numbness.

    But these cycles, which are part of Nature and so part of us, cannot be interrupted without consequences. They are meant to carry us away from the event, supported by waves on an ocean of unlimited love, not of endless grief. These waves of sadness carry us to new waters, geographies, and life experiences, and to expanded understanding and awareness that we are always safe, and cannot die. This supportive ocean of love is Creator Source, and It will wash away the old to reveal the new. If we allow ourselves to surrender to the process, our grief can carry us to the mental and emotional shores where our loved ones, once thought lost, await us. 

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